Letting Go III: Relationships
A recent 32 hour training week has found this opinionated cyclist scraped thin, like butter over toast. All else other than my habitual training routine has been set aside. And as a freelance writer my OC editorials are patiently sitting idle awaiting another edit before I post, when you write all day one no longer feels the itch to write for pleasure. For this reason the following is an article I wrote this past spring, a piece motivated on the night it was wrote and as such, words I reveal once more tonight for the identical circumstance. A re-visit from the past this is Part III of VI of my series dubbed “The Subject of Letting Go”
The Subject of Letting Go Part III: Relationships
Letting go. It is extraordinarily difficult for many of us, on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to take this action , over and over and over again. Letting go is part of our personal growth process as human beings, we cannot move on to the optimistic fortunes of life and spirit whilst clinging to the old.
On the most basic level us fragile humans function in primitive survival mode. When we feel our survival threatened, we respond instinctively; this is a sub-conscious behavior. Unless there is physical abuse, it is very rare one’s survival is actually threatened in a relationship. However, when we push our partners buttons even with the best intent or possibly not, there runs a risk that one may go into survival “relationship” mode and retaliate to protect themselves. This may hurt the other tremendously, yet it can be considered a basic form of human subconscious instinct.
There comes a time in love, romance and in strained friendships or associates, when we must learn to let go. Maybe the relationship was not meant to be, perhaps it was hurtful. Perhaps it hindered the personal or spiritual growth of one or both parties. In some cases even though there were mutual feelings of passion, (attraction, familiarity, the overwhelming disposition of) bad sensations with a heaping tea spoon on animosity need to be addressed with action. Holding onto anger does not serve us in the slightest, and it may even create problems in our physical health and well being.
Letting go is a natural release that follows with the realization that holding on is an energy drain that hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice or no desire to fix things that are best left broken, Whether we have idealized a past relationship or just read too many Fabio-romance-clichéd-romance-novels, many of us need to let go of the myth of the perfect lover or partner, the fantasy of a relationship between two people that requires no work and just brings us “happily ever after”.
Consequences play a big role in dictating the process of letting go. Accumulation of friends, goods, pets, children all make the decision more challenging. Social shenanigans from having both parties share a group of friends can cause hesitation, fear of malignant discussion and separation from friends. Houses, vehicles, furniture, pets, business arrangements make it tough! Is your happiness more important than personal materialistic possessions? I applaud those who are faced with these immense obstacles and yet through the thick and thin proceed with their intuition.
In my life as an aspiring cyclist it is difficult to hold onto friends spread across continents or forge new relationships. Any foundation that is wrought runs the risk of collapse from racing in different countries, or as in my case soon to be racing in Europe. A relationship that fast blooms in it’s infancy is a beautiful thing indeed. However unless there are overwhelming feelings of attraction it is best left broken when the consequences are fewer and the connection broken before any partner specific “obligations” hinder the letting go process.
As for me, I say goodbye to the past and hello to the present. I see the beauty and significance of starting over – over and over and over. Every moment is new and new is always right now! The new dies to the ever-new in an endless celebration of life. I have come to the realization that what is possible for me only changes when I am willing to see what is impossible for me to continue being. Letting go entails new beginnings and possibilities in all thing big and small.
Isn’t that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
Maybe we were wrong
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passions died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go.
Goodbye to the past and hello to Europe. Whatever you find at the end of your rainbow will be well deserved and worth alot more than anything you would have settled for not taking the opportunities you had.
To be all that you can be is a notable accomplishment. And one you are demonstrating here through this website and your twitter.
I wish you the very best in all that comes your way!
This is not what I expected,but I found it very interesting indeed. I had never thought of of cycling and writing going together. It was good to see you home and down at the coffee house.
On th subject of letting go, If in life you you have one enduring real friend you are very fortunate, on the other hand you can have many good aquaintances all over the world where you travel.
Cheers
Geoff & Brenda
A thoughtful insight and ideas I will use on my blog. You’ve obviously spent some time on this. Well done!
Great Article! I really like it! Thanks